a tricked out narrative to cure a first world soul

A temporary loss of reason,

the permeating sound of treason

echoes from souls, slithers from pores

Out of reckless, stressless tombs it grows

They know, it shows. 

They say I’m strong to still be okay

after all the time that’s passed, after all of that

they call me brave?

Embarking on a new scene, chasing a new dream

maybe this one will stick

maybe it will reinvent me

Come back anew, refreshed

I told you I’d be fine, 

I’ll be okay. 

I’m leaving home, for good - we’ll see

I’m praying they’ll remember me

In a day or week I’ll wake up, 

find what’s real amidst this REM sleep

I’ll find a way, I’ll be okay

After all of this, they call me brave?

Well just be strong, don’t say a word, fight for a cause, don’t be too misunderstood

and when it all comes crashing down and you’re standing naked in the Crown

you’ll be okay, just be strong, don’t say a word.

Today was a day like any other

that’s the problem, this spin. 

I remember a tire swing on a sandy third grade playground set

It was the first time I ever lost track of where I was

faces pass, motion sickness

Distorted views fly by like a memoryscape of dreams

Sink in, relinquish any hope of finding solid ground or a familiar sound

just for a moment or two of anonymity, without perjury, accepting any chance of injury -

Been spinning ever since

if I jump now I’ll fall to my death

or break some bonds to home.

What’s worse, to fight or fly -

tap out or break my wrist?

I’ve made a vow to endure this suffering, 

as if this death gives me something to live for,

for better or worse I’m losing faith in this routine

a tricked out narrative to cure a first world soul –

“So just make yourself smell pretty, make yourself look brave

don’t worry darling, it’s your time, we’re fighting for your sake

all you have to do is everything we say”

a wolf in shepherd’s clothing guides us to the edge before they cut the cord

from a lifetime herded, coddled, and prodded 

to make you believe that they believe you 

and trust, they do believe you

– as long as you follow the rules –

so just be strong, don’t say a word,

and we’ll finally be okay. 

So, whats your story dear? What trauma brings you here?

the reason for your abandonment of everything you’ve ever known?

They must have hurt you, led you astray

sent you away

It’s okay - your blood, body, and brain are safe in this foreign place.

Don’t think too much, 

don’t cry for fun, 

don’t try to run

you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to get back home.

3000 miles to who I used to be

I’ve never been much for running.

It’s okay - your blood, body, and brain are safe in this foreign place

don’t say a word, just be brave

it works, sometimes

so they say.